Bye, bye Arlene!
There were tears and regrets among nationalists as Arlene Foster announced she’s preparing to pack up and leave ahead of the imminent arrival of a united Ireland. Mr G. Adams of West Belfast said he’d be “sorry to see Arlene go (not)”. Mrs Michelle O’Neill of Tyrone said, “what will we do without her? We’ll have nobody to hate now. We could try Nigel Dodds but it wouldn’t be the same. He’s too clean-cut and sensible. You just can’t work up as much anger about him. Arlene was outstandin’ with her squandering public money on heating chicken sheds, anti-Irish policy and hatred for the Good Friday Agreement. She’ll be sorely missed by all true Republicans.” There are regrets in Dublin too. There have been rumours Arlene is secretly infatuated with dashing southern leader, Leo Varadkar. Arlene has been making eyes at Leo, sending him flirtatious messages, but his response has been ice-cold. “I did all I could to be nice to him and what did I get? Nothing, not as much as a peck on the che