Manexit; Manchester United votes leave!

-

Imagine the scene, the management of the Premier League are startled to receive a letter from Manchester United; “We hereby give notice of our intention to leave the Premiership. We no longer recognise your rules or your hated referees and administrators. We will make no more financial contributions to your running costs, while carrying on as if nothing changed. We require you to allow us to play in the Premiership, under rules which we alone will decide, a mixture of cricket, water polo and football (or any other daft rules we decide on). We will be free to play with global giants like Beijing United, Washington Rednecks and Kuala Lumpur Rovers using our own rules, and our own referees. We will no longer allow visiting fans access to our grounds. We expect our fans to continue to have full access to all Premiership games. We also require you to ensure we participate in the European Champions League every year, regardless of results, along with t.v. rights and all the other benefits of membership. I am sure you will agree this is a very reasonable proposal and look forward to our new bespoke, deep and special partnership in global, isolationist, exclusively Manchester, cricket-water polo-football.”

And the Premiership response? (Chose from the following.)
1. Fall over laughing.
2. Call the men in white coats.
3. Send a two-word reply; “Sod off.”
4. All of the above.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How the 8th amendment vote was lost and won

-
The troubled history of the eighth amendment to the Irish constitution raises many questions about imperfect, democratic methods used to achieve lasting constitutional change, some of which are surprisingly relevant to the EU withdrawal referendum. The Irish constitution , (1), is written in clear, easily understood language and published in booklet form. It describes the institutions of the republic and the basic principles upon which its laws are founded. Children are introduced to the constitution and encouraged to study it, in school. There is no equivalent document in Britain. There are many sources, collectively referred to as "the Constitution" but they are not readily accessible to citizens as a single, comprehensible document. The constitution of Ireland has been the focus of vigorous debate since its first draft appeared in 1937. Any proposal to amend the constitution requires a referendum of all registered voters. A simple majority of those voting is required t...
Read more

World music in Enniscorthy

-
Calm, relaxation and exuberance aren't usually mentioned in the same breath but they describe the remarkable combination of musical ideas and talents at work in Parisse Métisse. Wexford is known for musical innovation but this really was a remarkable show by Jean Baptiste and Letitia Perisse, at the Presentation Arts Centre in Enniscorthy last week. I'm pleased to say I was there. Richard Lee joined them for the opening and closing pieces, with strong hints of Oriental influence. Letitia is a remarkable artist by any standard. I counted nine instruments in her repertoire, including the clarinetta, a remarkably long tubular arrangement with a deep base sound. Letitia extracts wonderfully expressive notes from this amazing instrument. I don't envy her the task of carrying that big thing around! She played several virtuoso pieces on gourd flutes ( Hulusi) of Chinese origin. Her vocal pieces remind me of Enya's Celtic themes. Her subtle use of hand drums (tongue drums) comb...
Read more

Nigel Farage's worst week ever.

-
It all began so well. The Europeans were threatening to slam the door against Madame Mayhem and her tribe of warring Brextremists. There would be no deal. It was just what Nigel wanted. Britain, freed of European domination, would strike out into the wider world, except the bits full of Indians, Africans, Hispanics, Arabs and Chinese, of course. Britain would scoop up vast amounts of loot from grateful natives in exchange for whatever trinkets she chose to bestow on them. Britannia would rule the waves again and the Europeans could bugger off. Meanwhile, Barnier and Junker were playing their usual game, demanding a vast amount of cash in exchange for agreeing to look the other way while the Brits escaped through a hole in the fence around fortress Brussels. There was no way the plucky Brits could submit to such extortion. Better still, Liam Brexit, dimmest of the three Brexiteers, was said to be confident of negotiating an innovative, high-speed trade deal with Burkina Faso. The fl...
Read more