Open borders in Brexit Britain!

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The UK’s minister for total confusion, Mr Chris Failing, has announced there will be no border controls in Dover, or anywhere else in Britain, after Brexit. The UK will take back control by throwing its borders open to all-comers. “We’re having a party, to celebrate Brexit, and everyone’s invited!” said Mr Failing, on BBC Brexit Time with David Dimblebore.

28 million Romanian & Bulgarian immigrants are expected to respond to an earlier invitation from ex-Fuhrer Farage to visit the UK & stay as long as they like. You can use our NHS, with free cosmetic surgery, all day spa treatment, relaxation therapy and full-body massage as soon as you land. You won’t have to work, in fact we encourage you not to. Take it easy! There won’t be much work in post-employment Brexitannia. Take a positive view and don’t stress about it. Have a rest, you deserve it. Sign on at the social and they’ll take care of everything, you’ll be on generous welfare payments with free housing and all your needs taken care of before you can say Single European Market.

Come and see for yourself! There’ll be no customs, no immigration, no border force, no passports or tiresome paperwork, not even a cheerful British bobby directing traffic! This is the new, improved, Brexit Britain with not a border post in sight. Come on all you Romanians, Bulgarians, Albanians & Moldovans, everyone get on a bus, a coach, a van, a horse-drawn carriage or anything that moves and get over here. Global Britain is open for business (not).

Fact check, the combined population of Romania & Bulgaria is approx 26million people but “let’s not get picky about a few facts ‘n figures”. (B Johnson) This is fact-free, border-free Brexit Britain after all!
Further fact check, Chris Grayling is a total idiot with the intelligence of a fruit-fly.
Apology; We wish to make it clear that the above statement is in no way intended to imply any lack of ability, talent or initiative on the part of the fruit-fly population, many of whom make a productive contribution to society, as opposed to that useless shower of ...........

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