Portillo comes out - he’s a closet Remainer!

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Shock horror, Senor Portillo of the Brexit Broadcasting Censors, steam railways division, has been revealed as a closet Remainer. Senior BBC executives held an emergency meeting. “This is an intolerable situation. We can’t have someone with pro-EU views corrupting the airwaves and slipping in positive messages about Europe,” said Mr B. Rexit, the BBC’s head of balance and fairness. David Dimblebore has been asked to step in and present a series of illustrated readings from old railway timetables until a suitable, UKIP approved, successor to Senor Portaloo can be found.

It’s rumoured there are many more “sleepers” in the Tory party waiting for the moment when they can spring out from behind a curtain and shout “Boooooo”, to scare Theresa Mayhem into flushing her chaotic Brexit down the toilet, where it belongs.

Senor Portillo has long been suspected of harbouring Remainer tendencies. "He’s the son of a Spanish immigrant, for heaven’s sake, what more evidence do you need?" said Mr N Farage, chief talking-head at the BBC.

Foreign Secretary Boris Bunter denounced the traitor Portillo. “We’ll send all these Johnny foreigner immigrants back where they came from when we get our country back” fumed Boris, (born in New York of Turkish ancestry). Bunter hurried away to his grace-and-favour country mansion where he’s expected to spend the weekend plotting the next phase of the eradication of Britain’s hated elite, in the company of several other old Etonian and Bullingdon club chums.

FACT; It's April 1st. Happy Easter everyone.

Further Fact: EU citizens who were denied a vote in the referendum are allowed to vote in the local elections.

Voters who want to send a strong message to the Tories and their Labour Brexit allies should make sure they are registered to vote and support Pro-EU parties at the local elections on 3rd of May.

Brexit means Wrecks-it! Let’s stop it before it’s too late.

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